Two situations come up again and again, in my own life and with the people I work with. They look like opposites. One is being told you don't love enough. The other is feeling that you are not loved enough. Both lead back to the same question.
When you are accused of not loving enough
Someone you love deeply accuses you. A family member, a friend, maybe even your partner. You don't love them enough, you don't care enough, you have not been there for them the way you should have. You are basically being told you are a bad person.
That has nothing to do with you.
You can never love someone enough who doesn't love themselves. A person can only receive the amount of love they believe they deserve. If the person accusing you doesn't love themselves, no amount of love from you will ever fill that.
If you have done a lot of work on self-love and you have come to love yourself, this is very often the universe's last test. The people who don't love themselves as much as you love yourself get triggered by your presence, by your compassion and your unconditional love. And they will throw at you exactly what was the most scary for you to overcome, so you can look at it once more within yourself.
So you can ask yourself once more: do I love myself enough to say no? Do I love myself enough to set my boundaries? To say: I do not allow this kind of behaviour in my presence.
When you feel others don't care enough
And the other side. You have the feeling that someone you love and care about a lot doesn't care as much about you. You give them everything, you try to show them how much you care, and what comes back is just not enough.
I invite you to look into the mirror and ask yourself honestly:
Am I giving more to them than I am giving to myself?
Do I value them more than I value myself?
And by giving them so much and showing them my love, do I expect something back?
Give yourself the love you deserve
You do not need to depend on others to show you how loving and valuable you are. Don't give your power away by giving too much to the people you care about and then expecting them to give back what you gave out.
Turn around and give to yourself. You are the most precious and the most important being to take care of. And honestly, only when your own cup is full can you truly and authentically give to others without needing them to give back.
That is unconditional love.
Whichever side you are on today, the question is the same: do I love myself enough?
If you would like to explore this more deeply, the free Group Soul Journey is a good place to begin.
